For Singapore educator Elfin Ng, helping families reconnect begins with understanding the child behind the resistance—and the parent behind the frustration.

By the time their child falls asleep, the anger has passed.

What remains is guilt.

An evening that began with "Please start your homework" has ended in shouting. The parent remembers the child's expression and wonders why a simple request became another battle.

Tomorrow, they promise themselves, they will be more patient.

But what could actually make tomorrow different?

For Elfin Ng, founder of Singapore's stART Studio, the answer begins with discovering what is happening for both parent and child.

One family's experience captures what that can look like.

The Question That Changed the Conversation

In the foreword to Ng's book, her mentor and stART Studio co-founder Jaz Lai recounts the support she offered when his son was struggling at school.

Week after week, Ng visited their home, working patiently with his son on social and communication skills. Lai began noticing greater engagement and confidence.

Yet the moment that stayed with him concerned a familiar problem: homework.

Ng asked his son what bothered him most at home. His answer was the daily nagging.

Rather than telling him to comply, she asked what he could do to help the nagging stop.

Together, they worked out a routine: come home, shower, have lunch, then complete his homework before another reminder was needed.

The sequence sounded simple. What mattered, Lai explains, was how his son experienced it—as a solution he had helped shape, rather than another rule imposed on him.

According to Lai, his son began following the routine.

"The nagging stopped. The tension lifted," he writes.

A Voice in the Solution

For Ng, the lesson is not that every child needs the same after-school schedule.

It is that a child's perspective can reveal a starting point adults have overlooked.

A parent sees unfinished work and worries about responsibility. A child experiences repeated reminders and wants them to stop. Exploring both concerns creates an opportunity to work towards a shared goal.

The homework still needs doing. The child has a voice in how to begin.

Through her experience in early childhood education, centre leadership and mentoring, Ng has worked alongside parents who love deeply but feel exhausted by repeated conflict.

Her approach to Therapeutic Parenting encourages adults to recognise their own reactions, understand their children's experiences and guide with empathy and clear boundaries.

It also makes room for repair when patience runs out.

More Than Another Reminder

Ng wants families to have opportunities to connect outside moments of correction.

Between school, work and household responsibilities, parents may know which assignments are overdue while knowing little about what made their child laugh—or what they are quietly worried about.

Her hope is to help parents and children enjoy knowing one another again.

On 23 October 2026, she marked a new chapter in that mission, launching Bond. Build. Become.: The Therapeutic Parenting Path to Confident, Resilient Kids and KiKnowa™, a family conversation card set, at NTU Alumni Club at The Cathay.

The book shares stories and reflections, while KiKnowa offers playful opportunities for families to explore feelings, memories and perspectives. Her parenting workshops help adults practise listening and guiding through everyday struggles.

These resources extend her work; the purpose remains the relationship.

Not every disagreement will disappear. No routine works for every child.

But Lai's account offers a hopeful possibility: a familiar struggle can become a different conversation when a child is invited to help shape the way forward.

For a parent weary of repeating themselves, that may be a place to begin.