Greetings Lucille,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Sounds like you've got a cuckold/hotwife arrangement going there. Not quite polyamory, but definitely one kind of ENM. If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

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Welcome aboard!

I suggest you go to the website Fetlife and search the term hotwife.

But, I hope you enjoy your activities too, and aren't just doing it to please your husband.

No ,it's mutual but I feel judged here ,it's not nice

Oh, this forum has seen all kinds of kinks written about here, so it's not judgment when we're asking about yours. We just want to make sure you are in the right place, as far as what you're looking for.

Basically, you're welcome to read and participate here, but this is a discussion forum, not a dating or hookup site or anything like that. And since you haven't really told us why you're here and all we know about you is that you're young and in a hotwifing arrangement with your husband, the suggestion was made to check out Fetlife. Because if you came here mostly to discuss your kink, you might be disappointed or frustrated.

Although sex and various sexual practices/kinks are often discussed here (to a point), that's not really our focus. This forum is more about how to manage having multiple ongoing (usually long-term) loving relationships, how to have great ones (or end the not-so-great ones), how to communicate and negotiate, etc., all within the sphere of polyamory (many loves).

If, for example, it turns out that one of the guys you have sex with in front of your husband is someone you have feelings for and want as a regular boyfriend (and the guy wants that, too), then we can make suggestions to help you navigate the transition into polyamory. But if your particular brand of kink is basically you having sex with different random guys and no emotional involvement, this forum probably isn't the one for you. Not because we're judging, but just because that's not the focus here. Fetlife would be more in tune with that.

I hope that helps you figure out if this is the kind of site that you want to come back to and tell us some more about yourself. All the best to you, whatever you decide!

Yes, it's kind of like if you go to a website for, say, people who crochet, and start talking about your hobby of sewing. They both are working with fabric, but the skills are entirely different. You could maybe talk about types of fabric (wool, cotton, silk), and colors... but otherwise you're not really going to get the information you need.

There's no "judgement" that one hobby or skillset is "better" than the other.

We want to provide information and support for polyAMORY (multiple love relationships-- amor means love). Fetlife has a thriving hotwife/cuck community, so there you would find like-minded community for information, support and discussion.

Ethical non-monogamy is the term for any kind of non-mono relationship. Polyamory falls under the umbrella, but so do swinging, hotwifing, group sex, or being open for casual sex or kink, with multiple people, with the knowledge and consent of all.

Polyamorists aren't into ethical non-monogamy for sex. We just have a habit of actually falling in love, or at least, emotionally crushing on more that one person at once. Sex is usually involved, since it is adult romantic love we are addressing, and adults generally want sex with someone they feel romantically about. (However, while rarer, there are asexual or greysexual polyamorists, as well.)

And I asked if you were doing it for yourself and not just your husband, because in your OP you said he enjoyed watching you, but you didn't say you enjoyed fucking other men in front of your husband (or "cheating/pretending to cheat," technically). If you love doing it as much as your husband enjoys watching you, good for you! Enjoy yourself.

No need to apologize, you're not doing anything wrong. It's just that this forum specializes in polyamory, as long as you're aware of that there's not a problem. I for one am glad you are here.