[Got an anonymous confession or rant you just have to share with the world? Submit it to I, Anonymous HERE!—eds]

Did the impossible- bought a home in Portland. The 900 square feet I’ve been able to claim. If it was dark enough, I even have enough yard to squat behind my home and piss- on my dirt. SLAY. 

My yearly taxes are 2x my monthly mortgage. Happy to contribute to the community that raised me.

EXCEPT 

THESE JUDGEMENTAL ASS NEIGHBORS. I know there are more people on the street. I know Portland code lowered the minimum for parking space. But a density focused home is all I can afford. And hey, they’re extremely energy efficient.

It takes two working adults to afford to buy this “BUDGET” option. Some of these working adults even have cars. 

I was born here, work here, volunteer here, pay taxes here, and I DESERVE TO BE HERE. 

I’ll put up with your loose dogs, screaming kids, Air BnB guests- and frankly- your eye sore homes that you’ve neglected maintenence on for 20 years. In exchange, maybe 2 cars would be allowed to park on the street each night without bitching from the neighbors? 🙄 pretty please?—Anonymous